Tuesday, May 03, 2005
'Spread your wings and fly. You will never know how high you can reach.'
Everything around me is a blur. I open my eyes and blinked. My surroundings suddenly cleared and materialized in front of me. I looked around me. Everything is so blue. I could see clouds, trees and birds. I looked at the pair of wings behind me. Is this a dream? I touched it; it felt real, the soft and smooth textures of wings. Like those of a birds. I strained my newly formed wings and turned, looking down. It was quite a view up here, for miles I can see clearer than before. But yet that building right under my feet attracted my attention. Squinting in the bright afternoon sunlight I tried to make up the name of that building. Faint words formed on the sign board but all I could only see is the word hospital. Something is amiss. I kept myself from floating away and flapped down to Earth ignoring the awkward feeling.
I landed soundlessly on the concrete floor on bare feet. It felt cold even in this weather. Something is really amiss. I pushed open the door and strangely enough my hand could actually go through it! I shrugged off that awkward feeling that somehow I was a ghost and walked into the hospital. Ward 3, Bed 21. Somehow I knew my way. This place also looked familiar and I was being led to my 'destination' by an invisible guide. Deja vu. No matter how hard I tread my feet the nurses and doctors treated as if there was no one there at all. Finally, reaching my destination, I crept towards the couple crowding over a bed and peered over their shoulders.
Wait a minute that face look familiar! I suddenly can't remember who that was and stared at the hospital mirror and realized the truth. I ...was...looking...at...myself! Was I dead? As if the words hold a magical meaning, I was suddenly struck by a terrible headache. 'I am sorry sir... madam...' Can't remove myself from the pain! 'Your son has contracted cancer and may not be able to live up till next year...' Now I remembered. A terrible truth daunted on me. I was dead due to cancer. These couple was my parents. Are they still grieving? Or had they stop? I walked in front of the bed and looked at their faces. My mother was definitely still crying. Her sore-eyes were on the extent of bursting because of the lack of tears. While my father continued to look sadly at my limp body, trying as hard as he can to hold back his tears while applying pressure on my mother's shoulders to stop her from crying anymore. A sudden remorse filled me. Have I left too early? I wanted to comfort them but I knew I would go through them. But, nevertheless, I tried one last time. I placed both of my hands on their shoulders and told them: I am good. Grieve for me no more. It makes me sad to see you both like this. I will be good. This time it did really work. They look at each other and looked at my direction. I was stunned. Could they see me? No, I guess not. I am a 'ghost'. But they heard my words. Hugging each other, no tears drop anymore and I hope that none will drop during my absence. I smiled and was pulled back into a white vortex.
Blinded momentarily, I found myself once again floating. But now instead in mid-air, I was going upwards. Knowing what it meant, knowing that I have done my task here, I let go of all my worldly possessions as well as connections and followed the beam of light guiding me through the clouds together with other angels.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
me.