Friday, May 06, 2005
Would you take the chance in changing what you did wrong?
Sometimes, we regret what we do or what we had done, because mainly they hurt the people around us. For example friends, families and so on. Have you ever wanted to turn back time and take back what you said? Or would you want to let your mistakes pass and live with an eternity of guilt? Well, I would definitely choose the first one, but it's almost impossible to turn back time. But an experience tells me that I am wrong, that there is such a thing as a time warp, a time machine. An experience that tells me it's never too late to realize your mistakes. Never to commit the mistakes again allowing me to learn, to find myself, as a new person.
I slammed the bathroom door. How could they be so unreasonable? Exams are over, my results were good. Then why won't they allow me to enjoy during this holiday period? I just want to have some time with my friends and all they can tell me is just to study, study and study all day. Sickening bunch of parents. As I wash off the remnant of the last cry I made out of anger, I sat on the floor refusing to beckon my parent's calls. Though their calls became frantic, I still stayed emotionless and stubbornly refusing to come out of the bathroom. I turned and looked at my own reflection. Even though I felt sorry for them, the anger that has cooped up in me for months overcame that small percentage of pity I hold for them. After what seems like an hour or so, I heard the house door slammed. My parents were out and now, I can leave my wet 'sanctuary'.
Right before I open the bathroom door, I suddenly felt nauseous like as if the room was spinning itself. I sat down on the floor once again, abruptly. I tried to regain my consciousness as fast as I could: to find out what has gone wrong. When things start to take shape and the dizziness stopped, I opened the door and stepped out. Everything looks the same. But this is when everything went from normal to abnormal.
I heard the shouts of a voice of someone I so often hear. As I cautiously peeked out into the living room, I was surprised to see 'myself' on the spot arguing with my parents. Then I realized that somehow, I have gone back to the time where it all started out in the first place. This was the replay. I was suddenly filled with guilt and remorse as I see myself shouting at my parents. From their eyes, I could see that they were shocked but yet sad from the sudden outburst of their flesh and blood. As I saw 'myself' stomping into the bathroom door, I followed him or in this case, me in. Once again I saw myself weeping bitterly because of the anger and frustration of my parents. As 'I' slumped against the wall, I could vividly see the shape of hatred itself on the face. I had found out that today, this outburst was a merely a misunderstanding between the older and younger generation. As I stepped closer, I whispered into 'my' ears, 'Feel sorry for yourself and your parents. What you did just now was just not utterly correct. Take it from here. You can change what's wrong to right. Do not go astray.' As I said that, 'I' stood up and opened the door and there at the bathroom door was my parents trying frantically to call me out. As I see 'myself' apologizing to my parents, I was swept by the nauseous feeling and found myself in the bathroom again.
As I hear the frantic calls of apology replayed once again, I told myself: I did make a difference today. Forgive and forget. I have the chance to change, so why not? As I inched closer towards the door, I grabbed the handle and opened the door, knowing exactly what was going to happen.
Friday, May 06, 2005
me.